Summer should be a time of rest, growth, and memory-making for children. Unfortunately, for kids navigating two homes, even the sunniest season can bring emotional shadows. From changes in routine to long separations from one parent, shared custody during the summer months can stir up a mix of emotions. Some children adapt smoothly, while others may quietly struggle with the shift. As a parent, knowing what to look for, and when to step in, can make all the difference.
Let’s explore the signs your child might be having a hard time with summer custody transitions, and what you can do to support their mental health in a compassionate, empowering way.
Why Summer Can Be Emotionally Complex for Children
While summer often means sleeping in, swimming, and frozen treats, it also brings a major shift in structure. For many children, that change alone can be overwhelming. Toss in extended stays with one parent, unfamiliar routines, travel disruptions, or tension between households, and it’s easy to see how stress can sneak in under the radar.
Some children express their stress in obvious ways such as tantrums, meltdowns, and refusal to transition between homes. Others internalize it, becoming quiet, withdrawn, or overly agreeable just to “keep the peace.” That’s why it’s important to look beyond behavior and tune into your child’s emotional rhythms.
🚩Red Flags to Watch For
Every child is different, but here are some common signs that a child may be struggling emotionally during summer custody:
- Changes in mood: More irritability, sadness, anxiety, or emotional shutdowns
- Sleep disruptions: Trouble falling asleep, nightmares, or sleeping much more than usual
- Regression: Reverting to younger behaviors like bedwetting, thumb-sucking, or separation anxiety
- Physical complaints: Headaches, stomachaches, or other vague symptoms with no clear cause
- Loss of interest: Suddenly withdrawing from friends, hobbies, or summer activities they usually enjoy
- Behavioral shifts: Acting out more often, being unusually clingy, or becoming overly compliant to avoid conflict
- Verbal cues: Saying things like “I don’t want to go,” “I miss you too much,” or “No one wants me there”
These signs may show up right after a transition between homes or even in anticipation of one. Don’t ignore your gut if something feels off.
Building Emotional Safety Between Transitions
Whether your child is 4 or 14, they need emotional safety just as much as physical stability. Here are a few ways to help them navigate those emotional waves:
- Validate their feelings without trying to “fix” them right away. “It makes sense that you feel sad when you switch houses” can be more powerful than a pep talk.
- Stick to comforting routines even during transitions like a favorite book, movie night, or FaceTime call with the other parent.
- Keep conversations open-ended, so they feel free to talk without pressure. Ask “What was the best part of today?” or “What felt hard today?”
- Avoid speaking negatively about the other parent. Children shouldn’t have to choose sides or feel like they’re betraying anyone by enjoying their time with both parents.
- Offer control where appropriate. Small choices like picking their clothes, snacks, or what to pack for the next house can help them feel empowered.
When to Seek Extra Support
Sometimes, even with the best co-parenting practices, a child may still need professional support to manage their mental health. That’s not a failure. It is a brave step forward.
You may want to reach out to a therapist or counselor if:
- Your child’s distress lasts more than two weeks
- You notice an increase in harmful behavior (aggression, self-isolation, or self-harm talk)
- They are struggling significantly in both homes, regardless of the environment
- Communication with your co-parent has broken down, and your child is caught in the middle
In Alabama, co-parents with joint legal custody typically need to agree on therapy decisions. If that’s not happening, consider speaking with a Montgomery family law attorney about your rights and next steps.
This Isn’t About “Fixing” Your Child. It’s About Hearing Them!
More than anything, children need to know their feelings are valid. They need to be seen, heard and reassured that it’s okay to struggle sometimes. Summer can be a beautiful, exciting time, and it can also be emotional and overwhelming. Both can be true.
By staying tuned in, offering comfort, and taking action when needed, you’re creating an environment where your child can grow emotionally, even in the face of big life transitions.
✅ Summer Mental Health Awareness Checklist for Parents
- ☐ Watch for sudden shifts in behavior, mood, or routine
- ☐ Check in regularly with gentle, open-ended questions
- ☐ Avoid guilt-tripping or speaking negatively about the other parent
- ☐ Encourage consistency between homes when possible
- ☐ Offer age-appropriate choices to help them feel in control
- ☐ Create rituals for transitions to bring familiarity and comfort
- ☐ Don’t dismiss physical symptoms—stress can manifest in the body
- ☐ Be patient and listen more than you speak
- ☐ Collaborate with your co-parent when mental health concerns arise
- ☐ Reach out to a professional if the signs persist or intensify
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